Is love island destroying teens mental health?

So it’s that time of year again! One of the biggest shows on ITV2 is midway through its fourth season, breaking records and reeling in over 3.4 million views for the launch.

There is no denying that most of us can’t help but love the endless amounts of drama, the lingering sound of somebody shouting “I’VE GOT A TEXT” and watching every element of a romantic relationship grow, but in the back of our heads, we know that this is a reality TV show. We know to take some things with a pinch of salt. Well, we should do anyway.

What needs to be considered though, is if teenagers really view this the same. At such a vital point in their life, do they understand that not all young adults have to behave or look like the people on the show? Does the show teach the correct morals and values to have in a happy, secure relationship? Does this actually change teenagers perception on love? Basically, is love island creating a false sense of reality and an aspiration for teenagers that is just impossible for them to ever reach? Is the generation of social media and reality stars causing deeper mental health issues for the youth of today? My answer is yes. Don’t get me wrong, I think that love island is a great dramatised television programme. But the way in which it’s portrayed to be a reality show (despite the whole thing being constructed) will eventually lead to the downfall in teens mental health and wellbeing. We need to make the changes and discuss these things, before it’s too late.

BODY IMAGE

A worrying aspect of this show is that only one type of body image is shown.

Firstly, let’s discuss the women. Many of the girls who are on this show have had cosmetic surgery and procedures to make them look a particular way. Instead of promoting natural looks and embracing who we are, this show promotes one type of body with no imperfections which is again unrealistic for a lot of teenagers out there. The pressure that young girls could potentially put on themselves to look like these women has to be addressed. These women have flawless skin and no cellulite/scars or any imperfections when in a bikini. All of the things that are a part of being a natural woman seem to disappear on this show. Whether this is done by video editing, or only choosing to cast women who look airbrushed, it’s not realistic and can potentially lead to body dysmorphia and other anxieties and insecurities. When a girl is going through puberty, their body is going to change. But younger girls who watch this show may not understand this and it could lead to younger depression and anxiety as none of this is discussed or shown. Most women have imperfections, so why are women like this not cast on the show?

Side note: I am fully aware that the beauty/TV/advertising industry has to promote a certain kind of look. And I know that it has been around for years. But I am commenting on the way in which it’s changing. It almost seems more sinister. More subtle and pressurised for younger people.

Now, the men. Again, they all seem to look very similar. They walk around all day with their tops off and many of them have tattoos and a certain type of frame. A lot of them have also had procedures to their teeth, and who knows what else? Men have imperfections and scars, just the same way that women do. But this isn’t shown. So a young boy watching this programme could end up obsessing over looking a particular way that might not ever be achievable for them. This leads on nicely to:

SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR

Is it normal to walk around all day in a bikini or swimming shorts? No. But does this potentially make young girls and boys feel like they have to show a lot of their body or dress in a particular way to get attention in day to day life? Absolutely.  Many of these men walk into the villa and discuss how beautiful the women are. So a young girl watching this, could potentially think that you have to show everything and look that way to get approval from men. Also, the way that the men and women speak to each other and argue seems to play a big role in this series. Younger people will strive to act like these cast members. Is this really the way that we want our children to behave? Don’t get me wrong, some of the cast members are good role models. But the show as a whole, doesn’t do enough to show genuine behaviour. It’s distorted and can be brainwashing to the younger generation who believe that this is real. They could potentially believe that this is the way that you have to be when you grow up. When these cast members meet each other, they share a bed straight away as if it’s normal. When it isn’t. This leads on to:

RELATIONSHIPS

How are young boys and girls going to view love and relationships with influences such as this show? A young girl could watch this show and think that it’s okay to share a bed with a stranger. To think that it’s the norm. A young boy can also watch this and think the same. Could both boys and girls lose their confidence and think that they aren’t worthy of a relationship like the ones they see on the television? I know that this can all sound a bit far fetched and dramatic, but when you look at the effects that it can have on younger people, it makes you wonder about the world that they are growing up in.

Is depression and anxiety going to increase in younger people as they feel like they can never achieve a relationship or lifestyle they have almost been forced to believe is true? Will it all take its toll in the end because there isn’t enough education about ‘reality’ tv and how it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s real life? I think that without these kind of discussions with younger people, it will get worse. Growing from a child to a teenager is one of the most important stages of life as it forms you into the person that you are. It needs to be spoken about more.

Are we raising a generation mentally set up to fail?

 

 

 

 

Fighting negative thoughts

Screen Shot 2018-07-09 at 11.33.31.png

Unfortunately, there might be times in your life where you feel like you can’t seem to shake away your negative thoughts. But it’s important to remember that it won’t last forever and you can always fight back no matter what. You will get there in the end.

“I wish I was the person that I was a few years ago. I’ve changed.”

I’m so guilty of feeling this way. I tell myself that I want to go back to being care free, before the Depression and Anxiety. Yes we all change, but why would we want to go backwards? The whole point of living is to grow and go on a journey. Looking back on the past with rose tinted glasses is something that we all tend to do way too much. You may be different now but that is exactly what is supposed to happen. That’s good! It shows that you’re actually progressing! Change is the only thing in life that is consistent. It can be hard to deal with but it’s inevitable and needs to be embraced and appreciated for the lessons that it has taught you. Be proud of your battles and your journey. Always look forward; we’re not supposed to go backwards.

“I’ve lost relationships with family and friends along the way. It must be my fault”

Yes, you will lose friendships that you thought were going to last forever. Yes, you will lose relationships with lovers that you thought would never end. All of this is okay. Never blame yourself or think that it’s all your fault that a relationship has ended. Not everybody will stand by you when you’re at your lowest. A lot of people only want the best version of you. Just remember that you haven’t pushed anybody away. If somebody wants to stick by you then they will no matter what. People that don’t check to see how you’re doing or flutter in and out of your life when it suits them are not worthy of your time. Outgrowing people is completely natural so trust that the universe will guide you to the relationships that you are supposed to have in your life.

“I sometimes dread meeting people or having conversations, due to the fear of having to socialize for too long”

If you suffer with harsh anxiety, socializing can sometimes feel excruciating. However, the good thing is that you’re not the only person who feels like it. The truth is, it can be daunting socializing if you’re not feeling 100% but it’s something that is unavoidable in day to day living. The most important thing is that you don’t distance yourself from situations because it will only make you feel worse when you eventually have to socialize. The key is to remain calm and not to make plans too far in advance, because otherwise you have too much time to think about it and what could go wrong. I always find it a lot easier to arrange something last minute, as you then don’t give yourself enough time to sit and worry or talk yourself out of it. However, don’t arrange to meet somebody who isn’t particularly positive towards you or makes you feel uncomfortable because you’re bound to go straight into a panic or ‘low’ mode during or after you have seen them. I tend to find that I’m less anxious when I’m talking about something that I’m interested in because I forget all of the worries that I feel ‘should’ be in my head at the time. So overall, surround yourself with like minded people who are engaged in conversation, are interested in what you have to say and won’t judge you if you begin to feel anxious or emotional.  Also, laughing helps. Be with people who make you laugh.

“People don’t like me and think that I’m weird”

I genuinely believe that society has molded us into believing that we should act, think and look a certain way. It can put so much pressure on us, that we all end up having worries at some point in our lives of being judged. With anxiety, that is magnified and zoomed in which makes things 100 times worse. You end up convincing yourself that you’re weird or abnormal because of the thoughts in your head but that is not true. It can seem as if people can see inside of your head and know what’s going on which generates more worry and fear of judgement. I just want to let you know, that nobody thinks you’re weird or crazy, nor can they read minds. There is also no such thing as ‘weird’. You are who you are. Most people are feeling the same way that you do and are going through the same thought processes themselves. I also want to let you know that you’re not a performing monkey to suit other people’s needs; yes, some people might not like you because that’s the way that the world works, so you should never change who you are. However, half the time it’s usually just the toxic voice giving you paranoia. The people that you have around you should be constantly supporting you and reminding you that you are loved no matter how you’re feeling. If they don’t then delete them out of your life. I always used to worry that I had no friends because I began to cut toxic people out of my life, but then I realized that I would rather have little friends than ones who bring me down. It just gives you more space in your life to meet the right people.

“I’m too anxious/depressed to go outside”

The more that you tell yourself something, the truer it becomes. When you wake up and tell yourself that you’re going to have a bad day and can’t leave the house, that is exactly what will happen. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy because we can convince ourselves to think negative thoughts before we even have them. Therefore, you have already decided the outcome of your mood and day before it’s even started. I’m not disputing how difficult it is by the way, because I’ve been there and still do go through this. There have been times where I haven’t left the bed or gone outside at all for over three weeks. You’re not going to like hearing this, but the only way that you can beat this is by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. I’m not saying force yourself to go outside to a busy shopping centre or something if you haven’t left the house in months, it’s about taking baby steps. It doesn’t matter how small the action might seem, it’s just about little progressions each day. When I go through my dark phases, I will push myself to do little things. The first day, it might be just sitting in the lounge instead of my bedroom. The next day, it might be having a shower before going into the lounge. Every little step means something and you should be proud of yourself each time you progress. After that, it might be getting dressed and doing my make up after having a shower. I then might stay in the shower and lounge phase for a couple of days but I just focus on not going backwards. It’s okay to stay at one step for a little while and have little knock backs, you just have to keep getting back up and trying again until you eventually get there. If you saw somebody that you love putting themselves through what you put yourself through, you would give them some tough love right? You would want to go into their room and excuse my French, give them the kick up the arse that they need. Sometimes we need to be cruel to ourselves to be kind and as you probably know, nothing is that bad when you push past the barrier. When I do eventually end up going outside, even if it’s just for a little walk, I feel so much better within myself and you will too. Be patient and kind to yourself.

“I’m not good enough”

Don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself that you’re not good enough. The only thing that separates every single one of us is DNA. We all breathe the same air; we all live on the same planet and therefore we are all equal and as good as each other. The difference between somebody who is confident and somebody who isn’t is the belief that they have in themselves. If you constantly tell yourself that you’re not worthy or good enough to do something, then you will sub consciously walk into situations as a failure before you have even begun. It’s all about changing your thought processes so you wake up in the morning feeling energized and confident with who you are. There are a variety of reasons you might not feel good enough, but don’t worry. Just take one step at a time.

“I feel like ending my life”

Having this thought is nothing to be ashamed of. Many people go through phases in their life when they feel like they’ve lost sight of who they are and why there are here. It isn’t shameful to admit that sometimes we need somebody to talk to and to help us get back on the right path. I have had these thoughts and I felt like they would never disappear. The important thing to remember, is that these thoughts will always pass and you won’t feel like this forever. You can try talking to somebody to help you get a different fresh perspective on life but I understand that it may not be easy to say this out loud. If this is the case, when you have these thoughts it can be productive and helpful to make a list on how you are going to make positive changes for your future. When writing this list, think of everything that has previously upset you and made you happy and review how you can have goals to ensure that you make your life more positive.

Ultimate girls night in films from the 00’s

Feeling a bit down? Grab some popcorn, your duvet, a cosy pair of pj’s and few girl friends (or just yourself) and indulge in some of these nostalgic feel good chick flicks. The perfect cheer up remedy. Here are my top 20 picks.

1. Mean girls- Because what girl from our generation doesn’t know all of the quotes from this film? And let’s be honest, we’ve all watched it at least 20 times. So fetch.

rainbow-smiles-cake.gif

2.  John Tucker Must Die– Because girl power and friendship matters. Men need to be shown who’s boss. And because “don’t get mad, get even.”

get even.gif

3. A Cinderella Story- Because Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray are in it. If you know, you know. LITERALLY GOALS. Hillary Duff was life. I still don’t get how Austin Ames didn’t figure out it was her under that mask though..

cinderella story.gif

4. Matilda- It’s just one of them films that never gets old. Is it weird that Miss Trunchball still scares me now when I watch it? And I kind of look like her when i’ve been sweating out at the gym…

MaleWarlikeAsianwaterbuffalo-size_restricted.gif

5. The Notebook- My heart literally hurts every time I watch it. In a good way though. It’s so romantic and we all want that type of relationship don’t we girls? Ryan Gosling, please marry me.

tumblr_n0yfok1xTl1se6mjmo1_500.gif

6. Bring it On (all or nothing)-  The cheer songs are still sassy AF and make you wanna have a dance off. Plus, the story of true friendship is heartwarming. I do still wish I looked like Hayden Panettiere in the cheerleaders outfit though. Boo hoo. 

Unknown

7. Dream girls- Ultimate sing along. Who hasn’t belted out the ballads from this film at least once?! Plus Beyoncé and Jenifer Hudson are literally diva goals. **AND I AM TELLING YOUUU, I’M NOT GOIIINGGG**

Unknown

8. She’s the Man- I was introduced to this film at university and I’ve never looked back. Heart warming and funny. Amanda Seyfried is the one!

source.gif

9. Legally Blonde- We all routed for Elle woods. You go girl. This gave all of us hope to chase our dreams.

giphy.gif

10. The Princess Diaries- Another feel good classic. Because princesses can just be normal girls.

giphy.gif

11. High School Musical- Troy Bolton was every young girls fantasy. Sharpay was a bitch but we still loved her by the end of every film. Chad’s hair was unreal. Gabriella was goals. I don’t know about you, but I think I used to make my mum’s ears burn with how many times I replayed the songs. This film is bound to cheer you up.  It doesn’t matter what your age is. Once a wildcat, always a wildcat. 

giphy.gif

12. Grease- Because we all need a bit of that sassy Sandy at the end of the movie to motivate us now and again. But on a serious note, I don’t think I could pull off her hair like she did if I’m honest.

giphy.gif

13. Cheaper By The Dozen- Literally family goals back in the day. I always used to say how I wanted to have 12 kids. Thinking about it now, imagine the food shopping bill each week. Not to mention the pain of it. Like, literal downstairs pain.

giphy.gif

 

14. Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging- We could all relate to Georgia’s life. Awkward and embarrassingly funny. Also, I have to say that the soundtrack for this film is powerful! So good.

original.gif

15. Wild Child- The quotes in this film are probably up there with Mean Girls. Another film that you can watch a million times and not get bored of. Welcome to Malibu Biatch. 

giphy.gif

16. Crossroads- Young Britney was everything. I used to watch this when I was about 12, crying to her singing “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” Bless.

giphy.gif

17. Hairspray- Because Zac Efron, big hair and lots of songs. Do I need to say anything else?

giphy.gif

18. Freaky Friday- Another film that never gets old. Reminds me of when Lindsay Lohan was in like, every teen film ever.

tumblr_mufcg1o7MK1r6gxmgo1_500.gif

19. The Last Song- COUPLE GOALS. It’s nice to go back to the Hannah Montana/Miley stage where she falls in love and everything’s cute. I want that Miley back. Booooo.

tumblr_mg8rt3CcDe1rx8l35o1_500.gif

20. Harry Potter- Okay, so it might not the girliest of films but how can you not like a binge watch of Harry Potter?! Brings Christmas vibes.

giphy.gif

What actually is depression and anxiety?

The terms ‘Depression’ and ‘Anxiety’ are passed around without many people completely understanding what they mean. I think that it’s essential to explain the definitions in a little bit more detail to allow you to understand the conditions and how your mind works. When you learn the fascinating little wires of your brain and why you feel the way that you do, I believe that you can create a civil relationship with your mind and work alongside it to become stronger instead of allowing it to overpower you. I’m no medical expert in these areas so the explanations are basic Google research answers but it can make things just that little bit easier to comprehend.

I never understood what Depression was until I began to experience it myself. To be honest, I thought it was just a term that people used as an excuse. Wow, was I wrong. Depression is basically a feeling of intense sadness, worthlessness and hopelessness and it’s more intense and lasts much longer than just a bad mood. Symptoms and emotions vary from person to person, so it’s imperative to remember that there is not one specific list for diagnosis. You might think that because Depression happens in your mind, it can’t affect you physically but it can. The mind sends signals to our body to work properly so it’s more than likely going to influence your body too. The NHS list of symptoms for Depression looks similar to this:

PSYCHOLOGICAL

  • Anxiety/Worrying regularly
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or suicide
  • Low confidence and self esteem
  • Feeling tearful
  • Feelings of hopeless and helplessness
  • No motivation/interest in things
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • No enjoyment in life
  • Feeling guilt ridden
  • Continuous low mood/sadness
  • Feeling irritable and intolerant of others

PHYSICAL

  • Changes in speech (talking quicker or slower)
  • Change in appetite and weight
  • Constipation
  • Unexplainable aches and pains
  • Lack of energy
  • Low interest in Sex (loss of libido)
  • Disturbed sleep
  • Changes in menstrual cycle

SOCIAL

  • Not doing well at work
  • Avoiding contact with friends/taking part in fewer social activities
  • Neglecting hobbies and interests
  • Difficulties in home and family life

If you are experiencing some of these symptoms and haven’t been diagnosed, then now is the time to go and see your GP. Don’t be afraid or think that you’re going crazy, it’s much more common than you think and you can be treated through things such as counselling and medicine. There are many different treatments so you can decide what works best for you. You also may have symptoms that aren’t on the list that you experience too, and that’s completely normal. As I said, everybody’s experience is different. The brief overall reason why scientists suspect that we suffer with Depression, is because we have lower levels of serotonin in our brain. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter which is responsible for our joy and happiness. I’m not going to get into the science of the brain but that’s just the part that’s handy to know.

Some people describe Depression as something that can come and go, others say that they can experience it once and then never again but that’s not how I see it. I have this weird analogy that having Depression is like dyeing your hair. It sounds weird I know, but bare with me.  Say you had naturally blonde hair and decided to dye it brunette. It would look amazing, but your blonde roots would eventually grow back through, so you accept the fact that your natural hair colour isn’t brunette but you learn to maintain your roots by continuing to dye them. This is the same as Depression, you accept that you have Depression but you learn to understand the bad days by trying different techniques to keep hopeful and positive.

In some cases, it can be quite difficult to go to the GP or admit that you’re feeling depressed because you might feel ashamed or that you’re ‘just being stupid’. If people around you are telling you to ‘snap out of your bad mood’ or that ‘there are people that have it much worse off than you do’, it can make you start to question if what you are feeling is worthy of a diagnosis. Don’t let these shallow comments second guess yourself. We live in a society where phrases such as ‘I’m so depressed that they haven’t got my favourite ice cream in the shop’ or ‘this TV programme is so depressing’ are thrown about so casually that it almost patronizes and undermines people that have to genuinely live with the condition. It can make you question if anybody will take you seriously. Never let anybody question the way that you feel or tell you that the way that you’re feeling is stupid or wrong.

Anxiety usually comes hand in hand with Depression but this isn’t always the case. Anxiety is basically a feeling of unease, worry and fear. Similar to Depression, living with Anxiety can feel different for each person. For me, it’s like constantly having the nervous butterflies that you get when you’re worried about something. Your body goes into the ‘fight or flight response’, which is your body releasing adrenalin to help you physically prepare for danger. This is something our bodies do automatically when we feel fear which enhances the anxious thoughts and feelings.

Everybody feels anxious at times, but an example of it becoming a mental health problem, would be if you find that you’re worrying intensely and for a longer period, having panic attacks or experiencing other symptoms of Anxiety.  The ‘Mind’ Mental health charity list of Anxiety symptoms looks similar to this:

PSYCHOLOGICAL

  • Feeling nervous and on edge
  • Having a sense of dread
  • Fearing the worst
  • Feeling like the world is slowing down/speeding up
  • Feeling like other people know that you’re anxious when they look at you
  • A busy mind full of thoughts
  • Dwelling on situations
  • Feeling restless/not being able to concentrate
  • Feeling numb

PHYSICAL

  • Headaches/tense muscles
  • Light headed
  • Dizzy Spells
  • Sweating/hot flushes
  • Nausea (feeling sick)
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Faster breathing
  • Pins and needles
  • Churning in the pit of your stomach
  • Needing the toilet more/less frequently
  • Experiencing panic attacks

Again, if you haven’t been diagnosed but think that you may have Anxiety, book an appointment with your GP. Everything can become a bit of a chore when living with Anxiety because your fears can become embedded in situations or places. When this happens, it can feel more comfortable to stay indoors where you feel safe away from danger. If this is the case, it’s beneficial to visit your Doctor as the treatment will allow you to live with it in a better way. Just know that anything can be sorted and if you feel like you are experiencing these feelings then

IT’S OKAY TO TALK. YOU NEED TO TALK.

Moving on and being single

After some self-reflection and giving myself a moment to just be still, I’ve discovered a few things about the journey of moving on and being single. Hope you take something from this too.

MOVING ON DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN MEETING SOMEBODY NEW

I was under the impression that to move on properly from my ex, I needed to go and jump into another relationship as quickly as possible. So, for around 6 months, I was literally obsessed with talking to as many different men and practically assessing if somebody was relationship material from the moment that I met them. As you can imagine, this definitely didn’t work. I was becoming so emotional and couldn’t work out what was wrong with me. I kept telling myself ‘I just want a boyfriend’.. And although this might seem like common sense that this isn’t healthy, I genuinely did think like this for a long time. And in my head, it seemed logical.

But then I had to meet up with my ex to get the rest of my belongings from the flat that we lived in together. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw him but I surprisingly dealt with it well. It was weird because it was the final thing that was holding us together and I knew that I couldn’t cling onto it anymore. It took me over 8 months to collect them. But as I drove away from him, it was like something clicked. For the first time, it was like I understood that

YOU HAVE TO HEAL 

You have to give yourself time to heal and go through the stages of that. And here’s the thing. You can be over somebody and not think about them at all, but it doesn’t mean that you’re fully healed from that situation. Spiritually, your soul needs to decide when it’s the right time for you to meet somebody else. And you will know when it’s right because you won’t feel desperation or making the decision out of loneliness. You will be deciding that because somebody has come into your life that benefits you and you weren’t even looking for them. But In the mean time you have to

DISCOVER YOURSELF AND DO YOUR OWN THING

I know this sounds so cliché but self-growth and progression is the key. A few amazing examples on how to do this:

  1. GET TO KNOW YOUR BODY- Your body is your home and you should cherish it. Exercise, treat it well, understand its needs and work with it to make you feel confident, awake and rejuvenated.
  2. GET A HOBBY- This doesn’t mean going out and getting drunk. This means doing something that actually benefits your soul and your inner being. Things like sports, art, music, cooking, designing, reading, films, creating etc. For me, writing saved me. I’m using it to constantly discover more about myself. What is your thing? Keep searching and experimenting until you find that spark.
  3. VOLUNTEER/GIVE BACK- It makes you feel good and allows you to focus on purity rather than the ego. Another great way to keep your mind active and share beautiful light and intention with the universe.
  4. HAVE BLOODY FUN- Being single is all about having fun and creating friendships that last forever. Make the most of it and be happy with that. You will discover more about yourself when you’re smiling.
  5. MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES- Enjoy the decisions that you make and own them. Don’t allow anyone to judge you for the things that you want to do. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anybody in the process, do whatever the fuck you like!

 

  • DON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST
  • DO BE FUSSY AND BE PICKY 
  • DON’T BE WALKED ALL OVER
  • DO GAIN KNOWLEDGE WHILST ALONE
  • DO LOVE YOURSELF

You are exactly where you are meant to be right now.
Love this beautiful process and journey. ​

Things to remember

You can save yourself. You can change yourself and your life for the better by remembering a few small things.

1. The world never changes, it’s just you and your thoughts. Everything is still as wonderful as when you were a child, I promise.
2. The people around you can have a strong impact on your mindset. So choose wisely!
3. You really, genuinely are loved. Even when you think that you aren’t.
4. The way that people portray themselves on social media, isn’t always the truth. Nobody is having a better time than you.
5. The bad thoughts that you think about yourself aren’t true.
6. To be confident in every day life, you have to feel relaxed and content within yourself by placing yourself in positive situations.
7. It’s important to be around like minded people.
8. Being helpful and kind is always healing for the soul.
9. The choices that you make and the places that you go to will build you into the person that you are. Consider this.
10. Positive thoughts= Positive attraction
11. You are still the person that you wish that you once was.
12. You can box up past events and place them to the back of your mind.
13. The future is full of excitement and opportunity.
14. The present is to be cherished and appreciated. It truly is a gift.
15. No situation is a big deal. It’s the over thinking that makes it one.
16. Happiness is something that you create. So, it’s only you who can make you feel happy or sad.
17. Creativity is healing.
18. Nature is healing. And so is being outside.
19. Being genuine and honest is everything.
20. Water is good for you.
21. Exercising helps stimulate your brain and ideas.
22. Reading opens your imagination and allows you to think outside the box.
23. Complimenting others makes you feel good.
24. You should be proud of who you are.
25. Upbeat music is the key to a good mood.
26. If you are passionate about something, do it every day. That is how you become successful.
27. Confrontation fixes no problems.
28. Smoking, drugs and alcohol are toxic and attract toxic situations and thoughts.
29. You will feel more positive in life when you learn to accept to be comfortable in your own skin.
30. Laughter is the best medicine. Positive laughter, not laughter at others expense.
31. A tidy space= a tidy mind.

I’ll leave you with a late night thought I had.

There is no start, no end.
Just mere satisfaction that the process lasts forever.
The journey is everything.
​The journey never ends.
Regardless of circumstances, love will always win.

Love lasts forever.
It always finds you.
And it always keeps the journey alive.
​So when all hope is lost, know that love will find you.
​It will find you and enter your heart again.

​Just open your soul and believe in the love around you.
Close your eyes and listen to the love.

It has always been there- it never left you.

No more loneliness

For so long now, I have allowed myself to feel trapped and alone. I have happily welcomed these negative thoughts and emotions into my soul and been consumed by not feeling good enough. I constantly feel let down, used and under appreciated. It hurts feeling like nobody cares about you. It hurts feeling like you’re a burden on people. But, my self pity party stops today.

I think that we all feel lonely to a certain degree. Especially if you’re somebody that cares and gives a lot of emotional support to others. It’s like you put everything that you have into the people around you but then end up with nothing for yourself. I’ve learned that realistically, not many people will give out the same emotional treatment that you do so why put yourself through the pain and heartache?

People will constantly disappoint you. People will constantly let you down. I’m not saying this in a negative or morbid way but it’s a fact of life. Not many people will have your back and be there for you when you need them the most. Which is why you need to make sure that you are there for yourself, giving yourself the love and respect that you deserve.

Don’t put yourself down and tell yourself that you have nobody when you feel lonely. Because the likelihood is, there is somebody that loves and cares about you but you just can’t see that right now. Big yourself up and be kind to yourself. Think positive thoughts and remind yourself that if you try to remain in a positive cycle of thoughts, good things will eventually come to you and this feeling will disappear. Good people and opportunities will come into your life. It will happen.

There are going to be times when you have nobody there for you and yes, they are the shittiest times of all. But, they are the most important. Because this is when we learn about ourselves and teach ourselves to find the inner strength to fight through the heartache of despair and being alone.

Don’t envy what other people have. Don’t log onto social media and look at what everybody else is doing whilst you are alone. Don’t be fooled into thinking that everybody else is living a perfect life. They aren’t. We all go through it.

Just know that this feeling is teaching you a lesson. I know it seems like a pointless lesson. I think that to myself most days. I think ‘Why can’t I have more good people around me who care?’ BUT then I remember that I have my family and i’m lucky for that. It may not be my whole family, but the ones who matter the most, will never leave my side.

So, keep pushing the positive thoughts out of your soul even when it feels like all hope is lost. I know it’s not easy and it may take a bit of time but the more positive you feel, the more content you’ll be with your own company. And once you’re more content with your own company, more opportunities will present themselves to you without you even realising it, I promise.