the silence gets louder when the day turns to night

and i don’t know how to unleash the grasp of the nails that are drawing blood in my neck and ripping the skin that protects my soft heart from the devil

i try to scream but it could never be loud enough to convey the blood slowly clogging up my veins and intoxicating my brain

i could never explain the feeling because it wouldn’t make sense to an ear that has never been inside of my heart beating and heard the deafening sound of my soul ripping apart

each seam slowly disintegrating into nothing leaving me begging for the breath that i long for

maybe i will cower away into the corner and bleed myself to death so i don’t have to live with the guilt of breathing

the nearly non existent world of sleep haunts and teases me with a chance to feel normal

a game of cat and mouse trying to escape the hold that always finds it way back to me

the hold that reminds me that i’m a poor excuse of a woman

you think you know what its like to be me

you think you will ever comprehend the pain but you wont

and it will only get worse

learning how to live a life with no regrets is a cancerous disease making me scared to lose the people that i love

i don’t want to lose anything else

so for now i will cherish the love that surrounds me knowing that it will be the closest thing i will ever have again to feeling something

Published by Never Alone Blog

"keep it real, be yourself and love every second"

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