I know that life can get a bit heavy sometimes. And I know that it can sometimes feel like you’re fighting a never ending battle with yourself when trying to love who you are. Confidence and self acceptance is hard work and it doesn’t just appear over night. It takes dedication, commitment and time.
If you’re anything like me, you will want to rush the process of loving yourself and get frustrated when you don’t achieve results straight away. Unfortunately, changing your thought patterns and listening to the positive voice in your mind takes time. There is no quick fix. You have to be patient and kind to yourself. Ease yourself into your feelings and don’t be hard on yourself when things go wrong and you get them negative thoughts. Committing to going on the journey of loving yourself regardless of the rollercoaster of emotions that you will feel, is the first and most important step. It’s also the most difficult one but that’s okay. All good things take time.
When we have low self esteem, we automatically pick out the flaws in ourselves. It’s the natural thing to do. The thoughts like “i’m not good enough, i’m ugly, i’m stupid, i’m a failure” etc start to creep in.
Here’s the thing.
I’ve noticed that the more you try to fight off the negative thoughts, the more you will have them. As soon as you start telling yourself ‘i don’t want to have this thought, i want to feel happy and confident’, you are resisting and making it more difficult for yourself. Resistance creates persistence.
Imagine thoughts as passing clouds through your mind. (I heard this saying in a video and I wanted to expand on it). The thoughts will come and then the thoughts will go. Rather than trying to fight them off or create an internal battle with yourself, just watch them pass through your brain. Accept the thoughts for what they are and let them pass with no judgement. Thoughts will always be there but how much power and control we give them is our decision. A negative thought will disappear and reappear a million times a day. Acknowledging the thought without giving it too much energy, is another form of acceptance and a sign that you are loving yourself in the right way. You are not judging yourself for the way that you think. You are simply just listening, observing and then moving forward.
Don’t judge others for the things that they do. Ultimately, how we behave and the things that we think, are coming from the ego rather than our higher self. External factors are what cause us to have insecurities. It’s the fear of judgement from others or the fear of not living up to standards that cause us so much pain. When we look at another person and think a negative thought, we are feeding our ego which will make us feel worse and more negative about ourselves also. It’s so easy to fall in the trap of society and view things through clouded eyes. Accepting and seeing the beauty in others, makes it easier for us to love ourselves.
Don’t seek validation from others. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks of you. What matters is how you think about yourself. To find true love and peace, you have to understand that the only person who will make you feel better and fall in love with yourself, is you. People can help you and reassure you but none of it means anything unless you are putting in the work to truly compliment and be kind to yourself.
Think of all the negative things that you say to yourself on a daily basis and question if you would say these things to somebody that you love dearly. Would you honestly be so critical and harsh towards them? Would you even notice the things that you critique yourself on? How would you feel if you said these things to them?
We are our own worst enemies. Be kinder to yourself.
There isn’t a handbook that can give you all of the answers to being confident and loving yourself. Your soul will be on this journey until the end. However, you can give yourself the necessary tools to understanding that negativity doesn’t need to control or run your life. You are the master and you have the power. Keep being kind to yourself, keep accepting any blockages in your thoughts and letting them pass by. A thought is literally just that, a thought. It doesn’t mean that it’s true.
Slowly but surely, I promise you that you can choose happiness. You can fall in love with yourself by respecting yourself and surrounding yourself with people who bring good energy into your life rather than toxicity.
Please just be patient and be there for yourself when things get tough.
You can do this.
Don’t give up hope.