Hello beautiful people. I’m back after 5 months away from writing..although it has felt like a lifetime!
This post is to help you. However, I just want to quickly revisit my story for the people that have followed and supported me from the start. Then we can move forward together.
I had a break from this blog because I was extremely low and the content was coming from a negative, self absorbed and confused place. As you can tell, the website theme and design is now basic because i’m no longer paying for it but that doesn’t bother me. The content is the only thing that matters. I did question deleting ‘never alone blog’ all together and starting fresh because I felt slightly embarrassed about it at one stage. BUT.. after reflection, I am proud of everything that I have created and I’m not going to disregard the effort that i’ve put into things. I think it’s the fear of judgement that sometimes holds me back. If I express how i’m feeling and people don’t understand that, it can make me feel inadequate. I felt like a hypocrite if I wrote a post giving advice and then had a bad day myself. Some people would say to me ‘follow your own advice’ and ‘practice what you preach’ and it kind of made me feel like a fake. Or I felt like a loser for going into depth about my feelings etc, when I should just be smiling and pretending everything is always okay. Because to be a positive person, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE POSITIVE. (not true at all. It’s okay to be human and have a bad day). So, the first 5 months of my journey of self progression and reflection have helped me start to put things into perspective.Now, I hope I can help you feel a little bit better.
Acceptance is the first step to changing your mindset. Accept the way that you are feeling and reflect upon your goals to help you grow and progress. For a long time I tried to remove anxiety, depression and negative thoughts out of my mind completely. I believed that it was something that I could make just disappear. THIS IS WRONG. This would lead to me feeling more frustrated when I would have a bad day because I couldn’t understand why everything wasn’t magically better. Having a mental health condition is something that is long term. However, you can live with it and be in control. The key is to create goals to help you conquer the difficult moments that may occur. Creating goals is the first step to living a more positive, healthy life whilst maintaining a mental health condition . Things to consider when beginning your self progression journey and creating your goals:
- DO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE COUNSELLING OR USE MEDICATION?
If no: is this something that you want to consider? How do you find the correct people to speak to? what treatment would work best for you?
If yes: How does this help you? What are your goals in counselling? Are your goals to stay on medication long term or short term? Are you on the correct medication? Do you want to come off medication and try mindfulness? Is your counsellor right for you? How can you get the most out of your counselling sessions?
- EMOTIONAL WELLBEING
What are you struggling with the most? When you feel depressed, anxious or having an episode, what is causing you to feel that way? What is your checklist for improvement?
It could be: Healing a broken heart? Learning to love yourself? Managing worries and overthinking? Healing negative thoughts? Tackling loneliness? Managing overpowering thoughts and feelings?
- PRODUCTIVITY/PHYSICAL WELLBEING
What are your physical goals? Do you exercise? Go for walks? Do you plan to exercise more? Are you going to take up a sport? (Exercise releases endorphins. Nobody ever felt worse for going to the gym.) Do you want to quit smoking/drinking? Do you want to cut down on any bad habits?
What keeps you busy and what do you enjoy doing that promotes positive health? Writing? Reading? Travelling? What keeps your mind active when you are alone? When do you feel happy/calmest? How can you incorporate this into your every day life more?
- RELATIONSHIPS/SOCIAL ACTIVITY
Are the relationships that you have healthy? How can you change toxic relationships in your life? Are you happy with the people that you surround yourself with? Do the people around you care about your wellbeing? Are the places that you go out good for you? Who brings out the best in you? Who brings out the worst in you? How can you create the best possible circle and set of relationships? Are you happy with the activities that you participate in when you are with company? Do you want to do more things or create different types of memories?
- UNDERSTANDING YOUR CONDITION
What do you know about your condition? How can you learn more about your feelings to benefit you? What triggers you into having an episode? How can you accept your condition whilst still maintaining a positive attitude? What calms you down? What makes you feel worse? How do you communicate about your condition? Do you feel that you need to communicate more about your feelings? How can you communicate about your feelings without feeling like a burden/guilt?
I just want to let you know that your mental health condition does not define you.
Don’t let this control you anymore. You are in control. You can work with yourself to have the best possible life. Start with reflecting on your goals and thinking about the changes that you can make to move forward.
I know some days feel like a battle and that’s okay. It’s okay to have a bad day/episode. You are not a failure if things don’t always go to plan. You just pick yourself back up and start again each time. It’s not going to be perfect. We might fall down. But we get back up again.
If you always work hard on your goals, you will always be moving forward to a more positive state of wellbeing.