To my future husband

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​Hello.

​We haven’t met yet. Or maybe we have but we are yet to cross paths again. Who knows?

You wont read this until we are happily in love and living our dreams together. I hope that you’re living a great life right now. I hope that you are making amazing memories because I can’t wait to hear all about them. I cant wait for your eyes to look at me and light up with passion when you talk about the things that you love. I want to know all about it.

So, heres the thing. I used to sit at home desperately aching to find ‘the one’. It was like my whole life couldn’t go on unless I had somebody to walk alongside me. I genuinely felt like I couldn’t live a happy life because I wasn’t in a relationship. Then I met somebody. They came along and I thought that I had met my forever person. But they was nothing but a liar. I was literally ripped apart from the woman that I was before. But that’s okay because i’ve learned from it and I now know my worth. My confidence is still on the floor, but i’m hoping that you are going to help me with that.

I want you to know that I don’t need you. I won’t ever need you. But I will want you. I’m a pretty simple girl. All I have ever wanted is a man to look after me and keep me safe. But every man that I have ever known has failed to do that. So if I come across as cold and disinterested because of the fear of being hurt, I’m sorry. I will try to work on that. If you promise that you will keep me safe and never leave.

I hope that you never give up on me when i’m being hard work. I do tend to take things out on the people that I love the most. And yes, I can be a little bit grumpy and moody. But I will always have your back. I also cry. A lot. Maybe that’s because i’m a woman, I don’t know.. Haha. But, I will appreciate every little thing that you do for me.

I have massive insecurities about my body and appearance, as well as my mental health. That doesn’t help when dating because it tends to push people away before they’ve even started getting to know me. So, if you’ve lasted this long, then congratulations- you deserve a medal! Just know that when i’m having a nervous day, or a fat day, or a shitty day that I will forget all about it when I see your face. And if I don’t, you will make things better even if it doesn’t feel like you are changing anything.

​I can’t wait for the day that we make a family. To have little mini me’s running around that are made from pure love. I’m sure they’ll be gorgeous.  I also can’t wait for all of ‘our’ little things that we create. And all of the laughs, tears and everything in-between.

I wont give you my heart easily and I wont open up to you easily but I promise you that in time, I will turn back into the confident woman I once was. Just please don’t hurt me. And I won’t hurt you.

I can’t wait for the day that we meet.

​But until then, let’s live our lives to the full.

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