Becoming an adult is sort of like somebody throwing you in the deep end of a swimming pool when you barely know how to swim. We go from having somebody to make every single important decision for us, to suddenly having to make them all for ourselves. I don’t know about you, but for me there is a sense of panic and urgency when I hear the word adult. Like my whole career, love life and future should have been perfectly planned out from the moment that I turned 18. Realistically, that’s not really the case for anybody but I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself when I’m still only 21 myself. Like a woman said to me last week ‘you’re still only a baby.’ I personally feel like there is no moment in our lives where we will ever feel like a true adult, even once we have children. We’re all still young at heart growing with responsibility, experiences and knowledge. We will always need somebody to look after us. That’s it. The only true aspect about being an adult is the pressure that we put on ourselves to be the perfect portrayal of one. So if you’re feeling confused about where you should be at the stage of life that you’re in or what you want to do with yourself, here are just a few reminders to bring you some comfort.
NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AS A CAREER
I sometimes feel like I will never find the right thing for me, I constantly switch jobs and feel a bit lost.The problem is, i’m so focused on having the ‘perfect’ career and having it right now instead of just enjoying the experience. Some people study and work to get their dream job and some people might not have a dream job. That doesn’t mean that you’re a failure if you’re confused, a lot of people do go through their work life experimenting and trying new things. There is no shame in that. Keep going and fighting until you find something that is right for you. It might feel like a gruelling process but you will find what you are meant to be doing. Don’t give yourself a time limit.
THERE ISN’T A SPECIFIC AGE THAT YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN
Don’t get me wrong there are quite a few people out there who are young and happily single and independent. However, for others, there is pressure or a burning desire to be in a relationship and have a family. You have to remember that some people meet their spouse and create a family younger, others don’t and you should always do what you want to do but don’t put pressure on yourself if things don’t work out how you want them to. It saddens me when I hear people saying that they will never have a family or meet ‘the one’. There is no right or wrong time for love to happen. You are never too old or young for love. There is always time. Have hope that it will happen when it’s meant to.
IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP WITH DECISIONS
Just because we grow older in age, it doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden invincible and don’t need to lean on anybody and ask for help now and again. There is no need to take on the whole weight of your responsibilities alone. It’s unhealthy and having another opinion can sometimes do you the world of good. Also, don’t be afraid of making the wrong decision. It’s scary knowing what the right thing to do is but follow your gut.
FORGET ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE’S LIFE
I’m so guilty of Facebook stalking other people my age. It’s so easy to look at that person from your year groups page and beat yourself up. You ask yourself questions like ‘why aren’t I earning as much money as them?’ or ‘why am I not living in a house as nice as theirs?’ But do you know what? Fuck it. Excuse my language but it’s true. Don’t waste your time and energy comparing your life to somebody elses. It’s your journey, nobody else’s.
IT’S OKAY TO BE IMMATURE AND DO SILLY THINGS
There isn’t a rule that says you can’t do silly things because you’re a certain age.
Go and eat 5 tubs of ice cream and watch kids cartoons. Go to the park and swing as high as you can on the swings. Paint by numbers. Do whatever you want. If it brings you a bit of silliness, fun and makes you happy then enjoy it. Never loose your sense of humour or imagination.
and most importantly,
NOBODY REALLY KNOWS HOW TO BE AN ACTUAL ADULT, THEY’RE ALL JUST WINGING IT.