The happiness in goodbye

I tried to get you out of my mind for so long. I started to forget how the world felt before I knew you were in it.

The clouds whispered your name to me. The sun was your face. I didn’t know how to escape. Every time I closed my eyes, I smelt your lips. Your voice lingered in my ears. Your colours were embedded in every place that I went, every second that I breathed.

I used to cry. I couldn’t see a way out. I hated you with every inch of love inside of me. It was dark and I thought that I would never enjoy the sunlight again.

But I did.

Day by day, the clouds started to erase your name, I knew it was still there, but it was muffled. I felt hope. For the first time since I could remember, it wasn’t consuming me anymore.

I thought of all the pain that you put me through. And all of the sleepless nights. I smiled.

I took off my layers and washed your taste away. I scrubbed away your words and watched them deteriorate with satisfaction. This was it. I refused to allow you to control my soul for a second longer.

I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and swished it back and forth. Freedom. You scattered out of my hair and onto the ground. I stepped over you and watched the earth consume the leftovers of the tears that you had made me cry.

The rain was throwing itself into my soul. My face was dripping, my hair soaked. I shouted with joy. I was gaining my life back and i loved it. My voice danced into each raindrop and blew itself into the atmosphere.

“I AM A WINNER”
“I AM A FIGHER”

The rain cheered me on. The wind sang along. The ground supported me.

No more tears.
No more desperation.

I am going to live my life without you and it’s going to be better. ​

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