There are some people that come into our lives and teach us a hard lesson, and then there are others who come into our world and completely turn it upside down when they leave. You’re left alone and confused, wondering how you’re ever going to get back up and start again. The good news is, you do eventually start again. Because you have to. Whether you’re 15 or 70, you get through it. It’ not your fault, it’s just life. And life happens.
The only way to get past heartbreak is to go through it. There are ways to handle the way that you feel. I’m not saying that you wake up one day and fall out of love with a person. You might always have love for somebody who has broken your heart and that’s okay. You just have to learn to take that love, put it into a box and bury it away into your soul. Use it to better yourself.
BLAMING YOURSELF- Never blame yourself for a love that has gone wrong, whether you were dating or married with children, it’s not your fault.
No matter what your situation is, it’s easy to sit and blame yourself for a complete breakdown of a relationship. You can start to question ‘was I attractive enough’ or ‘why couldn’t I make it last’, which is entirely normal but completely absurd. A broken relationship consists of two people, remember that you can only try to fight for something for so long before there is nothing there anymore. That is nobody’s fault.
And if children are involved it can be hard not to beat yourself up and blame yourself for a broken family. You tried your hardest and sometimes love doesn’t work out. It’s more important to remove everyone involved from a toxic situation. Life isn’t always as expected, you just have to roll with it.
FEELING LONELY- We all feel alone sometimes. And that’s okay, because that is when you get to know yourself on every possible level of being. You can gain knowledge, gain experience. You can close your eyes and float in the sky with the stars and the humming of nature. You can explore the universe and swim through the energy of yourself and everything around you. Juust your soul, intertwining with the world. That is the most beautiful part of being human- being at one with who you are. Feel that faint buzz of the atmosphere in your ears and enjoy every single moment of it. Because when you are eventually not on your own anymore, you might forget it.
FEELING ANGER- Whether you’re feeling anger at the other person or just in general, anger and frustration is something that can’t be avoided at some point in a break up. Channel the anger that you have and use it to make you stronger. When you’re not thinking straight, you can end up making stupid decisions (trust me, i’ve been there). Don’t allow your anger to control you and put you in situations that you know aren’t worth it. If you’re at a stage where you feel like your anger is getting the better of you then read my ‘Coping with Frustation and Anger’ post. I promise you that it will make a difference.
FEELING INDENIAL- Not wanting to let go of a relationship is a difficult emotion to process, especially if you didn’t iniciate the break up. When you feel the urge to contact your ex and get back in the situation, really think about what you deserve. It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that your whole life has turned upside down but give yourself time. That feeling will eventually dissapear.
FEELING REGRET- Don’t start regretting being in a relationship or thinking that you ‘wasted time’ with somebody. Memories aren’t wasted time and you wasn’t to know how things would end up. Try to appreciate the good out of the relationship and the lessons it taught you in a respectable way rather than continuously wishing you could turn back time. Whether you made mistakes or wish you could change things, you can’t change the past or do things differently, so be kind to yourself and understand that.
NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH- Instead of thinking about how you’re not good enough for somebody else or won’t be able to find anybody who can make you happy, focus on loving yourself! Learn to love yourself by joining activities, socialising and creating new experiences. The minute you feel happy again, you will feel comfortable in your own skin. So do what you love.
FEELING AFRAID TO START OVER WITH SOMEBODY NEW- There is nothing wrong with meeting new people and enjoying yourself, but don’t push yourself into finding another relationship straight away. Give yourself enough time to grieve and to find yourself again. Have fun and keep yourself busy and when the time comes to be with somebody new, you won’t even have to think twice about it.
If your heart is hurting, I just want to let you know that you are strong, beautiful and you will get through it. And you will be a better person in the long run. I promise.