Coping with anger and frustration

I have heard and seen so many pieces of advice for dealing with anger and it all seems to be the same thing – “take deep breaths, count to ten, use a stress ball.” 

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not mocking this advice at all because it might help for some people.. but for me, it seems like i’ve heard it all before. And when i’m in that frame of mind, the last thing I want to do is sit down and try breathing techniques.

Whether you’re a slow burner who has frustration slowly niggling at their mood, or somebody who blows like a firework.. I’m going to share a few random things that you can do to take yourself out of the hard mindset that you can fall into when feeling angry.


I’ll start with when you’re on level 100 short fuse mode. From experience, I know that there’s not too much that can calm you down when you have reached breaking point. So there are only a few but necessary points that I think can really help in that circumstance.. 

If you’re in a situation involving other people, walk away.
-Yes, it might be difficult to walk away but nothing good comes from having a confrontation or making decisions when you’re on level 100. Trust me. Respect yourself enough to know that you need time to calm down.

Don’t make any spontaneous decisions. Sleep on it first.
– Don’t do or say something that you might regret in the moment. 

Freshen up. Wash your face. Brush your teeth. 
– This is my ultimate must when i’m in explosion mode. It’s one of the only things that helps me to calm down. I splash a bit of cold water on my face, brush my teeth and it gives me a second to compose. You’re probably laughing but honestly try it. It will change your life.
Call somebody up to distract you.

Don’t go for a drive.

And now for when you’re on slow burning mode. I understand that having anger can really affect your life and relationships. Nobody wants to take things out on the ones they love but we all do it sometimes without meaning it. So these are just a few everyday routine changes that could really help.

Find something that makes you laugh everyday.
– Whether it be watching a funny television programme, reading a funny book or talking to somebody who makes you giggle. Find something that can lighten your mood a bit. This is the cliche bit but it’s true. Laughter really is the best medicine and the first step to letting go of bottled up anger.

Do something to take your mind off your frustrations.
– Find something that helps you to forgetyour anger and turn it into something positive. Write your feelings down, go to the gym, find a hobby.. find anything that gives your mind time and space to breathe.
If something in your life is making you angry, start making changes.
– If there is a certain point of your life that brings you stress, then start changing things. If you have toxic relationships.. end them. If you don’t like your boss.. look for a new job. Learn to meditate. Find God. Do anything that will help you relax and bring you happiness. If you’re in a point of your life that is mentally challenging, make a plan and begin to change whatever it is. Don’t expect everything to happen overnight though, take one step at a time 

Talk it out.

And most importantly, 

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do feel angry.
-Know that it’s completely normal to feel frustrated and angry now and again. It’s what makes us human. The way we deal with anger is what really matters. You can’t just expect to feel great 100% of the time. Just give yourself a bit of a break and take things as they come. ​

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